And the survey says....

Sorry I have been addicted to playing Family Feud on Facebook.  :)  I am in such a better mood today.  Although I did get bad news at the Dr. office.... I did get some pretty good news too.  And it makes me feel SO much better.  So, I went into the Dr.'s office upset... because I just knew that it was too late for me to get the hcg shot... and it was another month "wasted."  And low and behold when I finally get seen by the doc (after over an hour of waiting)  he confirms what I already knew.  I was discouraged... but then he went on to tell me that after looking at my ultrasound that I had developed a nice sized cyst... about the size of a grape.  Which he said was great news... ("Once the egg is ready, the follicle ruptures and the egg is released. Thus the follicle is a fluid­filled cyst that ruptures when you ovulate." From Article: "Health Square: What You Need To Know About Ovarian Cysts, page 2 Common Types")

So I will be going next Thursday to get bloodwork done to see if I ovulated or not, because he seems to feel that it is probable! Super excited about that, just to know that I am not completely broken.  I will be sure and blog again about the results and next steps.  But I am VERY optimistic!!  No more feeling blue! 

Anger.... it is an understatement!

I haven't posted in a while, everything has been kinda crazy.  What with my Grandma being very sick and just dealing with stress all the way around!  Wow, where do I even begin on this topic of anger.  The part that I hate the most is the waiting!  No, wait, it is the constantly fighting the losing battle against my WEIGHT!  Yeah, I think that is the worst part, but after that it is definitely the wait.  Nothing gets under my skin more than having to tell a nurse what she is supposed to do, especially after she is the one who told me what the game plan was.  So, let's start with my last Doctor appointment.... At that point the game plan was that he was going to put me on the highest dosage of chlomid, and on days 10-13 he would schedule for me to have an ultrasound to see how my follicles were developing.  Basically if they were getting to the point to where they were just about to rupture an egg, he would give me an Hcg shot to push that little eggie on outta there and voila an ovulation.  As I had understood it, this was something that had a time limit... something that was kind of a rush procedure because the clock was ticking in the little window for me to be able to get the shot.  WELL... OK.  Ultrasound day gets here, and might I add it had to rescheduled for day 12 because good ole nursie scheduled it previously for day 9 which would have been a COMPLETE waste.  So ok... 8 am and I am being helped on the exam table.  They get that little warm gel stuff and put on my tummy and the Ultrasound tech (whom was SO super nice) proceeded... what I hate is that the monitor is turned away from you... so you can't see ANYTHING!!!  UGH!  So she clicks around and takes the pictures with the ultrasound and then proceeds to tell me that I am also having a transvaginal ultrasound also.  Now you can imagine my surprise... my reaction was, in hindsight, hilarious.  "Pump the brakes sister, what?!"  Yes you guessed the good ole nursie failed to mention I was going to have a huge instrument of ginormous proportions placed somewhere I didn't think it would fit, and was very uncomfortable.  No matter how nice a nurse/tech can be there is nothing worse than small talk during a procedure that is taking place in the southern regions.  Men would agree small talk during a prostate exam is unwelcome, and uncomfortable on MULTIPLE levels.  Same goes for the ladies fellas!!  Lemme tell!  So... after I have been medically taken advantage of (for lack of a better terminology) the tech lets me know the radiologist would read the results that very day and call the Dr. office.  Well, I know I am living in BFE East Texas and anything done at the hospital is SLOW as Christmas.  I waited to get a call from the office later that day, because I had it done at 8am... I was the first paitent and I know for a fact the records are electronically sent and can be read in a matter of seconds... I know I've witnessed it myself with cardiologists when I worked a cardiac wing.  No phone call came, and yet I was NOT surprised.  Next day I call the Dr. office @ 2:14pm... and low and behold the nurse informs me that they had not received the results yet, and that they should have them by the end of the week... I was like ok... Well the more I thought about it... the more it didn't make any sense to me to have to wait almost a week to have the Dr. read something that can be emailed right over... and furthermore I was under the impression that it was to read ASAP because we only had a small window to work in. Sooooo... I call this afternoon and I got the same exact answer, but this time I did a little chewing. :)  I reminded her that I was under the impression it was to be read ASAP because of the procdures that we were going to take with the HCG shot... this I think opened her lazy little eyes... because miraculously after about 3 minute hold, she had the ultrasound and had to "figure out" some way for the Dr. to be able to read it.  Yes... so I explained also that by dragging her feet and having the mentality that it will get sent just whenever it gets sent... I had more than likely missed my window and that I was VERY unhappy because guess who paid for an ultrasound for no reason... You got it... I did.  I have an appointment tomorrow, and I am really glad because I can talk to the Dr. face to face and I will be giving him an ear full.  At this rate, with little nursie drawing a paycheck and not being proactive with her paitents... We are never going to have a baby.  UGH!

Just breathe.

Today is day of sheer frustration.  Optimism is slowly dwindling away, and anger floods over me.  Why do I have to go through all this CRAP!  If my health issues weren't enough of an issue, now I am debating changing doctors.  Not that my docotor is bad... he is actually the best doctor I have ever seen!!  The nursing staff however is making my already frustrating journey even more frustrating.  I have often pondered what happens if a mistake is made?  And who pays for it?  I have learned that the answer is [NOTHING] and you have to pay for it!  I have called into my Dr. office to see about getting my Rx refilled, and I am talking about Rx I have to take on a daily basis.  I am told I have to come in for a doctor's visit to get them refilled.  Upon my arrival and talking to the doctor about why I came in... he informs me that in the future they can just call in the refills.  A $300 doctor visit for virtually no reason... money thrown away and wasted... TIME wasted.   My most recent disappointment... I was scheduled for an ultrasound, to make sure my follicles are developing properly.  I was told it had to be done between certain dates.  After thinking about it... I realize that the date set for my ultrasound was a day early so I decided it is to be safe than sorry... so I called the Dr's Ofc.  Low and behold not only was it 1 day early but 3 days early and I had to have a last minute reschedule.  Had I just went with the flow and gone anyway it would have been completely wasted... on SO many levels.  Another month wasted... $500 wasted on a ultrasound that was too early... Sometimes it just feels like the cards are stacked up so high against us.  Please keep us in your prayers.... from looks of it we need every single one we can get!!!

Knightingdale: The Tradition Continues??

Ok.  This post isn't really going to be too much about PCOS.  :)  Something fun I think!  I am actively on babycenter.com it has lots of helpful forums and groups for other women that are TTC (Trying To Conceive) and sometimes you can get some really interesting threads.  One I ran into was of course about baby names... This particular article was about names in their family tree going back to the 1500's & got me to thinking....  As some of you may know (my family especially) on my mother's side of my family we have some pretty uncommon names... and with that I have felt the need to carry on that tradition.  I LOVE that we have some pretty cool names... you don't hear them that often and it makes them original and cool.  I understand not everyone shares my same view points on this, but like some families have a tradition of naming their child after their father for the last 7 generations or naming all their boys with the same initials or  naming their daughters with a name beginning with the same letter... this is something I intend to hold true to as well... Now keep in mind my husband doesn't exactly feel as great about it as I do, so he reels me in on my crazy hairbrained ideas sometimes i.e. I will not be naming my daughter Margo as I had once dreamed... literally had dreams of giving birth to a babygirl and naming her Margo. Cool I thought, he didn't agree LOL. So, this got me to thinking.... if some people think some of the names like Maeve or Deacon are weird and unusual... I wonder what crazy names lie hidden in my family tree?!?  SO.  I looked. :D  I pulled up ancestry.com and this is what I came up with... Now keep in mind this is from only 1 line of my family tree, which has to be the Summers side on my paternal Grandmother's side.  These were the CRAZZZZZY names I found... Get ready to say whatthaheck?!?!  (Note: I fully intend of using my father's middle name.  I think it is way cool and has a sense of chivlry to it... 'Knight' Cool huh?  Ok maybe not everyone will think it is cool but with my research to back my already sound love for the name... this name goes allllll the back to the early 1700's in my family.  CRAZY huh... and it honestly probably goes back way further, but I hit a snag in my research so that was as far back as I could go. Another name I saw TONNNNNS of times over and over was Jesse.  Crazy all the back in the 1500's cool huh?  Sorry I am sidetracking LOL.)

Crazy Boy Names from the Summer's Family Tree:

1. Whitfield (YES this was a first name)
2.  Marmaduke (my personal favorite bahahahaha)
3. Caley (A name that is so common now days for a girl was used for a boy :D)
4. Eldredge
5.  Dent (Nope not short for anything.  This poor lad was named DENT maybe he had a Dent in his head?!)
6.  Rezin (This little jewel was pronounced 'Reason' as a matter of fact it was even notated on some of the old documents LOL)
7. Jehu (Don't get me to lying!! This was the craziest one I saw out of all the boys. LOL)
8. Billings (Maybe he grew up to be a bill collector?!
9. Ransom (I've notived that a lot of the names were for some reason.  Surely this little guy wasn't held for Ransom and if he was... how much?!?)
10. Sampson (The creek by my house that I grew up in was Sampson creek. Odd.)
11. Enoch (I have heard of the book of Enoch but naming your kid that?!)
12. Azariah (Runner Up craziest name I found!!  It sounds like a version of Mariah and it sounds WAY girlie)
13. Knightingdale (This was used later on I guess to fancy up the name 'Knight' there was also a Knightingale as well.  WOW I think I would have just stuck with Knight.  )

CRAZY Girl names from my family Tree!

1. Viola (maybe they liked to play the Violin?!)
2. Tolia (WOW no uh uh)
3. Dorcas (I can NOT believe someone named their poor daughter this name! )
4. Manassa (I wish I could say this was the worst but it isn't CRAZINESS!)
5. Buler (I don't even know what to say.)
6. Jemima (YESSSS!  I love her pancakes!)
7. Alvira & Alvirie (Sisters. I bet this is another thing they didn't want to share LOL)
8. Achsah (No that is not a typo the name is really Achsah and it was noted that her nickname was Axie.  I wouldn't want to piss off Axie... she plays with axes.)
9. Alviah (Another HORRIBLE spin off of Alvira)
10. Adeline-Rasberry (Ok this one wasn't HORRIBLE but I thought it was abnormal... and I will even go as far as to say I even like it.  What?!?  I loooove raspberries)
11. Peninah (Ok this one takes the cake.  It sounds like an old timers nickname for their vajayjay.  I said it... and it was the most horrible name of the girls!!!)
12. Ovilla (this one doesn't go very far back as a matter of fact this was my great-aunt's name... I never understood it.)
13. Sibila (It makes me think of Russia and Siberia.  Brrrrrr.)

Hope you had fun laughing at some of these names as I had laughing at them when I was looking them up.  So from now on when I say a name like Asa is cute... and someone says it is weird ... I am breaking out the list!  HA HA HA !  Have a great day!!!

-Janice

5 Pounds!

YAY!  I have successfully made my trips to the grocery store, cleared my cupboards of anything too tempting, and triumphantly lost 5 pounds in the first week of this diet!  I can not even describe how excited I am about that!  However, this was Easter weekend(which is why it took me so long to post)  and I think I did as well as I could with all the temptations of chocolate, potato salad, pineapple upside down cake and over delicious temptations.  Although I can not say I completely obstained from all of them... Rather than fail horribly I allowed myself small portions just so I didn't feel deprived.  I know and understand that this is going to take a lot of work mentally, physically and emotionally... Mentally to get my mind set on the idea of eating to survive, physically to withstand all the delectable temptations, and emotionally simply because I am an emotional eater and going through this process does cause depression.  Ask any woman with PCOS they will tell you this condition causes a vicious cycle... an unfair vicious cycle.  Your body automatically gains wait due to creating too much insulin and then being turned into fat... it causes depression which in turn makes you want to eat more... round and round and round.  Enough about the sucky parts... because I feel that something positive has come to me from enduring through this struggle.  I believe that in the end when I am finally blessed with my angels I will love and appreciate them so much more... motherhood will be that much more rewarding for me... because I know what it is like to feel like I am never going to be a mother... the reward in the end will be that much sweeter. 

I have been google-ing off and on in my free time during the holiday.  I have come up with some great ideas for snacks.  That is the hardest thing for me is remembering to eat my snacks... I have developed a horrible eating pattern like my husband... LOL he will eat one large meal per day and then maybe a small snack 6 to 8 hours later... not good if you want to keep your metabolism up.  Anywhoo, here are some of my deas for snacks.

1. "Ants on a log"  SO simple!!  i stalk of celery, some peanut butter and then raisins lined ontop just like they are little ants.  Presto!  And I don't even like celery but have come to like this snack!

2. Apples and peanut butter. :) YUM!

3. Unsweetened Apple Sauce.

4. String cheese.  It can be your best friend, especially if you are on the go!  Throw a couple stick in your purse and out the door you go!  Feel hunger approaching... voila!  Not mention I think they are so much fun to eat!

5. 100 calories popcorn mini bags.  They are pretty yummy!

6. Archer Farms Pomegranate Raspberry Real Fruit Bars.  Some VERY tasty treats I found @ Target with only 65 calories.  I love love love them. 


If you have any other ideas for some nutritious snacks be sure and comment them!!
I won't be able to post again until Monday.  Family Vacay!  I will keep my eyes peeled for some recipes, and will test as many as my Husband will allow !! :))))

Until then... much Love!
Janice