I have learned to not wear my heart on my sleeve when people ask me when we will have children. I really never thought about sharing my condition with other people, but the older I get the more questions I get asked. The most popular is when I meet new people. They always ask me if I have any children, you know the normal making small talk routine. I wish I could take pictures of people faces when I say no. People are completely caught off guard, because who now days doesn't have children?!? I mean even Brad and Angelina have 27 kids right?? The next question I get is asked is, "Why??" The funny thing is that the inflection that is implied like I don't want children. SO I finally just decided to explain rather than just giving the old reliable answer that God hasn't blessed me with any. I have not met a single person since I was diagnosed that knew about the condition, so it turns into a health class lecture LOL. So I think that this has ultimately pushed me to making this blog, because there are so many people out there that have no idea PCOS even exists. Even more so, there are a lot of people that overlook and dismiss this condition as well. I was talking to one of my best friends on the phone earlier. We were talking about our conditions (bless her heart she is wanting a baby so bad as well please pray for her also) and I was thinking that as long as I can remember I have been at least a little bigger than other girls my age. It wasn't until I hit puberty that I really started to gain a lot more weight. We all know that kids in school are cruel, and that was no exception for me. But knowing now what caused it makes me feel a lot better about it. Me being overweight in school really didn't make much sense. I played sports religiously, loved lifting weights, and I was very active even when I was home. I would spend hours outside shooting basketball, or go hiking through our woods. At one point I was so conflicted about my weight, I only allowed myself to eat Tuna fish every single day. I did lose a little weight but as soon as I stopped that routine it all flooded back. People look at overweight people in a different light. They rarely look past their waistline to see the inner beauty or even the facial beauty. I was very blessed to find a man that saw both, and has stuck right by my side. People often dismiss medical conditions that cause weight gain or even the prevention of weight loss because they think it is just an excuse. I promise if the shoes were on their feet, they would whistle a different tune. PCOS is a real condition, and it is a life altering condition. The most important thing I have learned to have is faith, faith that one day I will hold my very own child, faith that God has his reasons for all of this, and faith that one day there will be a cure.
I mentioned earlier that I had a nice phone conversation with a very dear friend today. This reminds me of another very important thing I have learned. Support. I can not even describe how important it is to have those family and friends that are there for you and support you. If it were not for these people, who knows where I would be. I will be honest, I dive down the occasional "woe is me" spiral of depression. Stop for a moment, look your child in the face and then stop and think about what if you could never have them. It's a bad feeling isn't it? Something more than half of you do not even want to imagine. It really brings things into perspective when you faced challenges. PCOS is no different. So with that being said I ask anyone who follws this, reads this, or passes this on to others... please support PCOS aawareness.
Thanks a million!! <33
Janice.
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